Infertility Etiquette

The "Living a New Life With Infertility" blog reprinted an interesting article written by Vita Alligood for RESOLVE (the national infertility organization) about what to say--and what not to say--to a friend who's experiencing fertility challenges.

Here are the article's subject headings -- you'll want to read the full text under each heading:

• Don’t Tell Them to Relax
• Don’t Minimize the Problem
• Don’t Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
• Don’t Say They Aren’t Meant to Be Parents
• Don’t Ask Why They Aren’t Trying IVF
• Don’t Offer Unsolicited Opinions If They Are Trying IVF
• Don’t Play Doctor
• Don’t Be Crude
• Don’t Complain About Your Pregnancy
• Don’t Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
• Don’t Gossip About Your Friend’s Condition
• Don’t Push Adoption (Yet)
• Let Them Know That You Care
• Let Them Know That You Care
• Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments

My new book, The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting, has a chapter called "Missed Conception: Adopt And You'll Get Pregnant," in which I share anecdotes from several infertile people (myself included) who explain how they worked through all the advice they received when they were struggling with infertility. Read the chapter summary and a short excerpt.

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Comments

[K Solberg]

I agree with not pushing adoption on infertiles.

I am currently pregnant from an IVF. I have no guilt at all about the fact that I chose this over adoption. I've had friends try to make me feel "guilty", but the fact is, I don't. I sleep well at night.