A Birth Parent’s Rights in Infant Adoption

Women (and their partners) who consider placing their baby for adoption often ask, “Can I have contact with my child as he grows up? Will I be able to see pictures of him? Talk with him on the phone? Visit him?”

The answer is a definitive, “Yes, if that’s what you want.” 

Unlike the secrecy that shrouded infant adoptions in the past, in which birth parents literally had their babies ripped from their arms and never heard a peep about them again, expectant parents who are considering adoption have a lot more options these days.

• They have free pregnancy counseling available to them (counseling which, if done properly, does not coerce them into choosing adoption but presents them with the short- and long-term ramifications of parenting vs. placing).
• They choose the family who will raise their child.
• They can meet the adopting family before the baby’s birth.
• They can receive independent legal counsel.
• They can set up a communications agreement with the adopting parents, so that both parties can exchange letters, pictures, phone calls, e-mails, and/or visits at whatever level both families feel comfortable with.

The Spence-Chapin adoption agency has developed a “Birthparent’s Bill of Rights” which they give to all expectant mothers considering adoption. Here’s an excerpt:

• You have the right to be free from pressure to make a decision for or against adoption.
• You have the right to total confidentiality, if you so choose.
• You have the right to impartial counseling by a trained professional, so you can review all your options.
• You have the right to choose your baby’s adoptive parents.
• You have the right to a safe and legal process.
• You have the right to choose an open adoption or ongoing communication with the adoptive family.
• You have the right to change your mind about any verbal promise or written agreement made before the birth of the baby.

Source:
“Perception & Reality: The Untold Story of Domestic Adoption,” by Eliza Newlin Carney, Adoptive Families, June 2007.

Related Articles:
Domestic Infant Adoption: Alive and Well
Three Common Misconceptions About Infant Adoption

For more news and information about adoption, visit www.laurachristianson.com, and check out my Exploring Adoption bookstore.

Comments

[Karen W]

You have a lot of great information on your blogs. I know this will be useful for many people. Thanks!

[Karen]

'The answer is a definitive, “Yes, if that’s what you want.”' This entire article is EXTRAORDINARILY MISLEADING!! Generally speaking, birth parents don't have the right to demand anything!! The answer to your posed questions actually is, "Yes, if that's what the ADOPTIVE PARENTS want." Open adoption agreements are only beginning to be enforced in some states, but generally speaking, these agreements are not enforceable by birth parents!!! What you have are situations where birth parents are misled into believing they have rights, and then the adoptive parents can slam shut the adoption and disappear, leaving the birth parents with no legal options. You're article is completely misleading. I am astounded that you would put this kind of improper and misleading information out there, when you know what the stakes are for birth parents! Please, please, please, correct your article and name the states where open adoption agreements are enforceable with details about the level of enforceability and then name the states where open adoption agreements are not enforceable.