How to Start an Adoption and/or Infertility Ministry: Planning an Adoption Workshop

This the tenth in a series about adoption and infertility ministries. Parts 1-7 are posted April 3, 5, 7, 11, 18, 24, 28, 29 and 30. Today, I’ll provide pointers on how to plan and facilitate an adoption workshop.

Guest speakers
We named our 7-week series of adoption workshops “Exploring Adoption.” Each week, we invited guest speakers to attend our two-hour weeknight evening workshop to share their experiences and expertise. Our guest speakers (all volunteers) are adoptive parents or adoption professionals.

The advantages of inviting adoption professionals
If you live in a large metropolitan area and have easy access to adoption professionals, they are almost always willing to speak at workshops. Although you can expect them to talk a bit about their agency/service, they come with the understanding that this is not a sales presentation, but an opportunity to acquaint people with adoption. The non-partisan setting gives prospective parents the opportunity to interact with adoption professionals in a small, intimate setting. Often, parents-to-be decide to engage the services of a particular agency based on the connection they make with an adoption professional at the workshop.

The advantages of inviting adoptive parents
I love it when adoptive parents share their experiences, because parents are so real. They’re not afraid to tell it like it is, and they feel a moral responsibility to acquaint people with the difficult parts of adoption as well as the joys. People considering adoption need to hear what it’s like from those who have “been there, done that.”

My husband and I and our sons’ respective birth parents did a presentation about open adoption five years ago. A few months ago, I ran into a woman who had attended that workshop while she and her husband were in the adoption process. She asked me how our sons’ birth parents were doing, calling them each by name. My mouth dropped open. “Wow! How did you remember their names?” I asked.

“Your talk made such a huge impression on us that I will never forget their names,” she replied. “It was because of that talk that we decided to pursue an open adoption.” (This couple went on to adopt twins and they have a fantastic relationship with their daughters’ birth mother).

Logistics
We hold the workshops in a classroom at our church and promote them in the flier that announces upcoming classes, and in the church bulletin and newsletter. Our workshops are free and open to the public. At least half the attendees do not attend our church. While we don’t evangelize people at our meetings, attendees understand that our group is Christ-centered. We open with prayer and close each meeting by giving people the opportunity to pray for one another, if they wish. While the workshops are presentation-based, we encourage discussion and interaction. Although we don’t require pre-registration, I think it’s a good idea, because it gives you a better idea of how many people to expect each week. We have anywhere from 5 to 35 people attend, depending on the topic.

Popular workshop topics

• The adoption home study – what to expect during the adoption process (adoption professional as guest speaker)
• International adoption – with a panel of parents who have adopted from different countries
• Domestic open adoption – with a birth parent panel
• Creative adoption financing
• Single parent adoption
• Myths and fears about adoption

Other great topics

• How to survive a disrupted or failed adoption
• Coming to terms with infertility before adopting
• Adopting after age 40
• Biblical foundations for adoption
• Internet resources for adoption
• Independent vs. agency adoption
• How to create a family profile or “Dear Birthparent” letter
• Legal aspects of adoption (an adoption attorney as guest speaker)
• Adopting sibling groups
• Interracial/transracial adoption
• Foster-to-adopt
• Adopting a waiting or special needs child
• Issues adoptive families face; how to talk about adoption with your child
• Using positive adoption language
• Internet resources for adoption
• Adoption medicine (pediatrician specializing in adoption medicine as guest speaker)

Workshop guidelines

• We will start and end meetings on time. We will call the facilitator if we can’t make it to a meeting. If we choose to leave the group, we will communicate that decision with the facilitator.
• We will be sensitive, affirm and love.
• We will stay on topic. The facilitator will guide us back if we get off topic.
• We will make every attempt to read suggested materials in preparation for the following meeting.
• We will maintain confidentiality. Everything that anyone in the group shares is confidential; it may not be shared with anyone else unless given explicit permission.
• We will make sharing optional.
• We will respect group members’ decision to remain childless or to pursue fertility treatment instead of adoption. For those who choose adoption, we will respect differences regarding the type of adoption intended (independent, agency, open, closed, etc.).
• We will pray for each other, both at group meetings and during personal prayer time throughout the week.

The evolution of adoption support groups
Various support groups have evolved from our Exploring Adoption workshops (see previous entry). One year, several single women attended the workshop series, and they formed a singles adopting support group. Their group met actively for at least two years, and they supported one another through a variety of adoption scenarios. All of them now have toddlers, and they meet periodically for play dates and family barbeques.

A group for people adopting internationally has also formed. Several of the families in that group have toddlers, but they also welcome those who are actively waiting to bring their child home. They enjoy potlucks and other family get-togethers.

Concluding thoughts
I recommend that one person or a team of adoptive parents plan and facilitate the workshops. A facilitator who attends each meeting helps create continuity and knows the sorts of questions to ask a guest speaker to keep things rolling.

A church-based workshop series also provides a wonderful opportunity to network with other local churches. If your church is small or you live in a small community, call other area churches and ask them to help organize the workshops and to invite members of their congregation to attend. Our church partners with two other area churches to plan the workshops. We’ve discovered that partnering allows us to locate a wider variety of people to serve as guest speakers. And when support groups spring up as a result of our workshops, they start not only at our church, but at other area churches.

The most rewarding aspect of being the facilitator of the Exploring Adoption workshops is watching people learn and grow. People who attended our first workshop series – who knew next to nothing about adoption – have gone on to adopt children and are now starting their own support groups or volunteering to lead workshops. None of us claim to “know it all.” We just want to give back…to help make the adoption adventure a little easier for the next person who travels that road.

Comments

[Dawn]

I am researching communities of faith with adoption ministries.
In doing so I am attempting to find support for birth families. Your programs sound great but have you considered a workshop focussed on birth families or allowing a birth parent to share their story at one of your collaborative workshops?